Poem

There are times when a rhyme cannot even come close
To the feelings you harbor and cherish the most,
And given that rhythm is often abused,
It may muddle the meaning expressed by your muse.

But sometimes these cramped lines of dull words explode
Into beautiful branches of poetry's road.
Each verse you traverse is a path to explore—
With each tour you discover there is more than before.

Pondering on the Eve of a Shining New Year

I lie and I wonder
Of bridges and water under,
And I think of the year that has past.
December is gone.
Soon a new year will dawn
And remind us that time does not last.

So I think and I smile,
At least for a while,
Remembering all of the good I have done.
But as road leads to road in my mind I am lost
In all of the evil I stumble across,
And I wonder what I have become.

But then I remember,
On this last day of December,
That the story doesn't end with the fall.
My debts have been paid
When on Jesus they were laid,
And to worry won't help me at all.

I need think no longer
Of the days I have squandered,
For I've been blessed with a shining new year.
So I look and am glad
For the times I have had
And to see the sun's face on this first day appear.

Food Stalker

I think about you all the time.
Not a day goes by I don't need you.
When you are not home I look for you.
I study your pictures in the magazines.
Sometimes at night I lie awake wondering how you taste.
I love you and will always love you.


My ham sandwich has recently filed for a restraining order.

Chick-fil-A

Oh Chick-fil-A, what can I say?
You bring me joy 'most every day.
And when I eat I always know
There's no place else I'd rather go,

For what you serve is all I need
To fill me up. Indeed,
No other chicken will I eat
Than yours alone, so great a treat.

And as I close this grateful song
Of food for which I daily long,
I must declare when here I dine,
The pleasure truly all is mine.


One day, I'm gonna get paid to write stuff like this for restaurant chains.

I'd Like to Say a Few Words Before I Devour

Cookies really are the best.
James, you're really writing a poem about cookies? Oh yes!
Because they're worth it, oh they are so worth it.
They deserve our praise and admiration,
For they deliver such an incredible sensation.
I've been asked before if I'd like a cookie
As if that were even a question.
"Give me four!" is my emphatic response,
A command, mind you, not a suggestion.
Thomas Jefferson was clearly thinking about cookies
When he wrote about happiness in the Declaration.
For nothing brings happiness quite like a cookie
As every sane human agrees—

Wait just a second! Is this cinnamon raisin?! *Angry Face*
You mean I've been writing a love poem inspired by an imposture!
I may never love again.

Ancient Adage (That I Just Made Up)

The king who trusts a foolish man
May loose his kingdom and his wealth,
But he who puts his trust in none
Will drag the kingdom down himself.

What's Underneath?

There comes a time in every man's life
To make a decision that will define him
For the rest of his life.
A question so fundamental it will affect his very existence,
And cut deep into his heart like a knife.

It's a private decision;
Few others will know
What choice he makes on that day.
It will come as a question,
That time when every man must say:

Should I wear boxers or should I wear briefs?
Which will help my level of self-confidence increase?
Should I wear boxers or briefs?

But those aren't the only two choices you've got;
You have to choose a color...or if you want polka dots.
I kinda like compression shorts; I wear them all the time.
Or you could go commando if you feel so inclined.

Should I wear boxers or should I wear briefs?
Does one produce restriction and the other bring release?
Should I wear boxers or briefs?

Do I need a fly?
I never use one.
I tend to just pull down...
Sorry, TMI.

And what about PJs? A onesie? Naw.
I could, on the other hand, sleep all natural.

Should I wear boxers or should I wear briefs?
What drawers should I drop when I need some relief?
They say that what matters is what's underneath,
So should I wear boxers or briefs?